i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
