quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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