"it" just moved
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
