Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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