Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
