You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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