I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
