This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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