Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
