He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
