So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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