oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
