There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
