Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
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