What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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