I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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