And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
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Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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