brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
