Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
