I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night