Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.

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(248): View more from Michigan

New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(251): View more from Alabama

As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

you don't.

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(219): View more from Indiana

You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you

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(928): View more from Arizona

He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.

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