definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize