Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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