He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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