I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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