she woke up with a sticky ear
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize