I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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