why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
