we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
