Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
