I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
