I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
