I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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