ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize