I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
