I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
And then my night got REAL pukey
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Enjoy the penises
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
