I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
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We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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