I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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