recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
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Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
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You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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