Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
