I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
