mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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