no, he came in my armpit
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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