when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
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I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
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I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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