His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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