Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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