aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
