I don't think brook has ever known best
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
