grandma shit on top of the toilet
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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