i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Boobs are out for the taking
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Help. Why am I so naked?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
