my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
