Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
