you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
