so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
