i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
