Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
