That's intense
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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