i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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