i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
