i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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