there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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