I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
